Don’t Ignore Those Not There
I facilitated a productive half-day retreat with most members of a Board of Directors. I spent the weekend following the Friday retreat pulling together the notes from the retreat and developing work products resulting from it. I wrote a follow-up email, linked all the new content into descriptions, prepared an agenda for the Wednesday meeting, and had the communication to them by the end of the day Monday.
I did have in mind both the people who were present and those who were not. However, I had a big miss. There was a discussion resulting in a decision during the meeting that I didn’t generate notes for and I didn’t include that information in the follow-up email. I suspect one of the reasons it didn’t bubble up for me is that, despite vigorous discussion about the topic, they came to what seemed like a very sensible decision.
This information was casually referred to in the meeting that followed, and it caused upset. It wasn’t clear to me at the time what the cause of the upset was because the feedback was more generalized. When I did have a more direct conversation with one of the “missing” people, I could see that, despite the wide range of material and information I did supply, I had not, in fact, reflected that discussion and decision.
When I train on meeting management, planning for people who were missing from the meeting is one of the topics we discuss. The tools I have developed for traditional meetings, especially the Meeting Register, help to engage people who were not present at the meeting.
Non-traditional gatherings, like retreats, do not always use the traditional tools or structure of a meeting, and as such, special attention needs to be given to engaging other members of the team who were unable to attend.
Based on the work I have done on developing processes to support meeting management, and to reflect on my recent experience, I offer the following:
Let’s start by giving grace to those who are missing. Most of the time people who are not in the room or on the screen have appropriate reasons for not being there. And if not, that is a different problem to solve. If we value their long-term contributions to the team or effort, then it is our responsibility to provide pathways to their ongoing engagement.
If you are one of the people missing, pay special attention to follow-up communications and follow-up. Take responsibility for getting what you need.
Use traditional meeting management tools (agendas, meeting registers) and processes, even in non-traditional meetings in full or during segments, as it makes sense. Simply applying best practices adds a level of inclusion that might otherwise be missing.
For non-traditional meetings, in addition to typing up work products from the gathering, consider whether decisions were made, problems were solved, or issues were identified. Create a summary of the outcome of that discussion but also the input into the outcome. In the retreat I discussed above, it was easy for me to summarize the reasons for the decision in 5 bullet points and it only took me a few minutes to do so. I just didn’t do so until I recognized that that information was missing.
If decision-makers or key stakeholders are not present, consider framing the conclusion of a discussion as a recommendation vs. a decision to allow space for those who were missing to contribute.
If there is a topic that we are aware is sensitive to a specific person who was not present, I encourage direct outreach to that person even before the notes from the meeting or gathering get sent. The consideration given to that person will go a long way.
With an ever-increasing burden on the workforce, it may be even more difficult to get everyone in the room at the same time. That will require those of us responsible for meetings and retreats to pay closer attention to moving the full group forward together, regardless of who is in the room at any given time.
